Sadly, Riley’s scans showed a new tumor in her right lung. The tumor is 2 x 3 cm which is surprisingly large in such a short time. “I’m sorry” were the doctors words as he delivered the news. “I’m sorry” were the words we said to each other as the news sunk in. “I’m sorry” were the words as we broke the news to Riley when we got home.
So many questions and so much confusion in our hearts. Seems all my brain can tell my heart is “I’m sorry.”
For those who have supported us in prayers and belief, “I’m sorry.” For those who will struggle with what this means, “I’m sorry.”
For those who think this is a reason not to believe in God, “I’m sorry.”
Although we know medicine has nothing else to offer Riley, we know God is with her and us. Why is her journey continuing down this path and she not healed as we believed? We feel even more like the disciples who didn’t understand Jesus’ teachings before He died and were lost when he was taken away from them. Blessed Mary, who accepted her role without knowing what would be expected of her. Mary who ached as her son, our Savior, was torn from her arms. Will we ever have her strength? How will He show us His mighty power?
We don’t know what to expect anymore. We don’t know how we will be each day, but we thank those who will help us as we must continue on. Don’t be afraid to talk to us, drop us a line or give us a call. We aren’t ready to respond today, but this pain will ease. As a brother in Christ taught us, “I don’t know what to say, but I couldn’t let that keep me from letting you know I care.”
The same friend said it best tonight, “The one thing I know is God loves Riley more than I can understand.”
It will be 5 years since Riley began her journey with cancer in May. We have been “active” on this journey much more than we had ever anticipated. As we faced 6 months of initial treatment, we looked forward to the five year mark in Nov 2011 when we could be “done with cancer” and consider Riley cured. Evan then we didn’t know how we would hold it together to have tests done so often! How could we be patient for 5 years-waiting? How little did we know what the 5 years would have in store for us.
We still can see the 5 year “finish line” ahead. We still see her cure as a reality.
Scans are Wednesday. We pray His grace and mercy are heaped upon us. The day is here and weighing heavy on our hearts. Riley is showing no signs of worry or concern. We try to follow her example.
We have been reflecting on the confusion and fear the disciples must have felt after Jesus death. They didn’t understand what he had told them nor how it would come to be. Some may have feared they misunderstood His teachings, signs, miracles as He died on Calvary. Likely they all feared for their own survival. I am sure sorrow filled the air. They must have had difficulty believing that His Kingdom would reign forever as His body laid in the tomb-yet some must have held on to a belief in His promise, not sure how it would come to unfold for the good He had told.
Our hearts too have been restless. Dreams disturbed by visions of illness. The devil whispering in our ears “Are you sure?”
Yet we remind ourselves that we are sure. It is written - He died for our sins and by His stripes we are healed. The words “It is written” were Christ’s tool to battle the devil’s temptation in the desert. We too must learn to fight him in the same way. Thankfully so much was written.
We hold on to so many passages to bring us peace the next couple of days until we hear the glorious results! It is written in John 14:1 “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in Me.” and
It is written in Matthew 7:7-8 “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.”
So today we ask God for Riley’s cure and we believe in Him and His promises. Please pray with us for Riley to have clear scans on Wednesday. Also a special prayer request tonight for Kelly’s dad. He took a sudden turn of health the day of Riley’s last surgery and has been unable to care for himself since. Sadly, he fell yesterday and today he could not move his legs or control his bowel or bladder. MRI has shown fracture of his thoracic vertebra and hemorrhage along his spinal cord. He has to have surgery Wednesday in hopes to repair the damage and allow him a chance to recover. Please pray for his peace and comfort and for God’s protection over him.
Waiting patiently knowing the result will be good, Kirk and Kelly
I got my box today from Schwan’s. I have been wondering how in the world they were going to ship food and keep it frozen. Even the ice cream. So I opened the box and everything was still frozen. The ice cream was so frozen it had to sit out for a while before I could dish some out.
Here is the ice chest.
This is what came in my ice chest.
The Baked Ziti was wonderful. It is 310 calories and 18 grams of protein.
I cooked it for 8 minutes in the microwave then took the cover off then cooked for 5 more minutes. (the only thing I would do different would be cut the time by 2 or 3 minutes)
Then I cooked ½ the bag of broccoli. Again in the microwave.
I cooked that for 8 minutes with just a tiny bit of water.
The Five Cheese Garlic French Bread…Oh my gosh!
I think that was my favorite. It had 12 grams of protein.
Hearty classic baked ziti, tossed with a 3-cheese combination of Ricotta, Parmesan and Mozzarella, smothered in flavorful rich tomato sauce. Bake it in the oven until golden brown and bubbling hot, and enjoy a dish, just like Grandma’s homemade!
I am truly amazed that you can buy these products on line and have them delivered to your door.
Riley is feeling great and she seems to be recovered from surgery. She practiced tennis this weekend and reported that it no longer hurts to take a deep breath. We are so thankful for her healing. It overjoys us to watch her run and play with the other kids. We have always enjoyed spring, but this year I am extremely more grateful as spring approaches because there was a time last year when I thought we would see this spring without Riley-for that is what science and medicine told us.
Today my heart believes we will have Riley with us for many more springs. I am so thankful for how God has guided me to this belief and given us a chance for more springs. How He crafted my faith to grow to this extent amazes me. It truly required the willingness of many to follow God’s perfect plan to bring us where we are today. My knowledge of medicine has been an entrance point for the devil, but through God and with the help of others, I was encouraged to resist the science and embrace the faith. We have stepped from just “hoping” out onto the branch of “believing” with confidence in Him. We can’t find the Truth in earthly means. Not in medicine, in numbers, in security, in wealth, in possessions, in titles, in fame, or in power - It lies only in God.
The answer in God isn’t found just once. Daily efforts to focus on the truth and to avoid being led away from Him are required. We feel we see His truth more clearly now than 5 years ago, or even last year. I hope each day I can continue to see Him more clearly. I know it all depends on me, since He does not change.
We must all study, learn, and practice choosing God as our truth. This is what Lent is about for us this year - Strengthening ourselves in God and preparing ourselves to resist the temptation of sin and the devil. This is not an easy task because the devil is very cunning and tries to plant seeds of sin and doubt. We were reminded of this with the readings at mass this Sunday with the story of Adam and Eve (Genesis 2:7-9;3:1-7) and how Satan even tried to tempt Jesus after His forty days of fasting in the desert (Matthew 4: 1-5). During this forty days of Lent we must try to prepare ourselves as Christians so that we may resist the devil and accept God as our only Truth.
Please help pray with us for a friend(Ashley)who just underwent a stem cell transplant and now has RSV. Please pray that God will protect her from complications with this illness and bring her back to complete health. Also please pray for Meghan and her family as they struggle with advancing and progressive Wilm's disease.
Thank you for your support in helping us stand confidently in Him.
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I am a single mom of a wonderful child. He is what keeps me going. I enjoy saving money with coupons so I can buy other things that I normally would not be able to get. (for my son, you know mom's come last) My favorite TV shows are House & Criminal Minds. I also enjoy Bones and NCIS.